Harsh realities as the world may present to us everyday, each time we start a new day we always awaken to find, by reading, that the world has grown crazier by the minute than we realize, and then the burden on our shoulders lightens up a bit... and we laugh our troubles away.
There were books I'd bought before, willy-nilly, that I've since taken for granted, one of them, among others, a book which I didn't realize would produce much mirth to myself as well to others. Wouldn't a dignified looking gentleman you know in your neighborhood, for example, be a source of a loud guffaw if you see him slip over on a banana peel when he is crossing the street?
At times, reading books the traditional way is still the only way to go better than surfing the internet for information. Here are some funny things I've just read and wanted to share with you:
Newlyweds Kenneth and Donna Kiehn posed for just one more picture at their wedding reception - and fell off the balcony to crash down 30 feet into an indoor fountain. "They were still holding hands when we pulled them out," said a friend.
A seven-year-old boy living on a top-security base near Ipswhich, Suffolk, dialled 999 and said his parents were having a terrible fight in the next room. Military police stormed in and found a red-faced mum and dad making love not war.
Two teenagers kissing in a car at traffic lights in Rio de Janeiro held up traffic for two and a half hours when their dental braces became entangled.
A German couple sunbathing nude on a beach at Tropea, Italy, were arrested under a bylaw which allows bare bottoms only if they meet "the highest standards of classical beauty".
A burglar planning to raid an off-licence broke into the wrong shop, took nothing, was arrested within minutes and suffered the indignity of a judge telling him: "Give up crime, you're no good at it."
An Irish thief broke into a London electrical shop to steal television sets, but drove off with three microwave ovens by mistake. In court, the judge suspended the man's 18-month jail sentence because of his "crass stupidity".
A man in Rochester, New York, cancelled all engagements while his three-day bout of hiccups lasted. "They're kinda embarrassing in my line of business," he said. He was area director of the National Council on Alcoholism.
When a Swiss hotel chef lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine, he submitted an insurance claim. The company, suspecting negligence, sent an expert to see for himself. He tried the machine out to prove it was safe - and lost a finger too. The chef's claim was approved.
Dr Yvonne Hodges was delighted to find she was unexpectedly expecting a baby ... and embarrassed too. She ran a family planning clinic near her home in Axminster, Devon. Yvonne and her husband - also a doctor - declined to confess which birth control method had failed them.
Policeman Jimmy Landels will never forget the first time he locked someone in his shiny new handcuffs ... Jimmy, 19, was on a holiday at home in Broza, Sutherland, after graduating from police college. His 77-year old grandmother asked him how the handcuffs worked and he proudly demonstrated - on her. Then he realized he had left the key at Inverness, 75 miles away.
He said: "I had to phone the local police for help, but granny saw the funny side and sat there laughing until tears came to her eyes."
So laugh and grow fat, folks!:-)
I owe a debt of gratitude to:
Sue Blackhall in her book The World's Greatest Blunders
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